Fear. One word and only 4 letters but this is a truly huge issue.
From experience, both personally and with client work, FEAR will stop you in your tracks quicker than anything else I know.
It can crush your dreams and hopes, cause anxiety, stress, depression, hold you back and keep you in a place that is not where you are meant to be, but you will stay there as it feels ‘safer’.
This will keep you locked in your present situation.
WHY?
It’s really all about perception.
- If you have a poor perception of yourself, you will doubt yourself.
- If you doubt yourself, you will feel limited as to what you can achieve.
- If you feel limited in what you think (the emphasis being on ‘THINK’) you can achieve, you will behave in a limited way.
- If you behave in a limited way, you will get limited results.
- These limited results will reinforce your belief and you will return to your original perception (point 1).
This record will keep playing repeatedly until you change it, and make no mistake; it MUST be you who changes it.
It will make no difference whatsoever what anyone else tells you. If YOU do not believe in YOU, then you really can look into your future and see what will happen.
That may all sound very simple and in some part, it is. Then I suppose the question should be, “If it’s so simple, then why don’t people just change it?”.
What I’d like to do is try an exercise here. Let’s not think about what ‘People’ do. Instead, let’s make this a bit realistic and ask yourself, “Why haven’t I ‘just’ changed it then?”
This moves the focus doesn’t it, putting ourselves under the microscope a little?
Does it feel uncomfortable to analysis yourself like this? If so, GOOD. It means you’ve just got a little bit honest with yourself and perhaps more so than you have in a very long time. It can only be honesty that will shift something.
Honesty can feel uncomfortable but if it is dealt with in the right way, it will make us move so we are not uncomfortable.
If we are going to move, then why not move in a better direction?
BUT THIS BLOG POST IS NOT ABOUT ALL GLOOM AND DOOM. IT’S MEANT TO BE POSITIVE SO LET’S SEE WHAT WE CAN DO.
You were born with only two fears, a fear of falling and a fear of loud noises. Every other fear you may have has been learned, not intentionally but learned all the same.
That is actually good news because if you can learn one thing, you can unlearn it and learn another.
This means if you have a fear, you can learn how to identify with what it is, address it and change it. Like all of these blog posts so far, Hypnotherapy is a great way to achieve this and achieve it with speed.
Like many of the problems we face in the outside world, it is our reaction to them that makes them bother us. If we let them get to us, that’s down to us. If we do not let them bother us, then that’s down to us as well. Notice the ‘it being down to us’ aspect.
For us to banish fear, then it is ‘us’ who have to take charge of ourselves. If we don’t, we are at the mercy of the entire world and like a ship in a storm, can be relentlessly buffered from crashing wave to crashing wave. This is not how we are meant to be.
FEAR IS TERRIFIED OF COURAGE
It truly is, and FEAR is strong. It will fight to exist and you will feel this internal fight going on inside you. However, what fear does not know is how strong you truly are.
It’s a bit like that big bully in school. It may look the part and it may also act the part. It may flex its muscles and intimidate but underneath all of that bluff and bravado, it is a coward.
Fear does not really want you to know this. It would prefer to keep you in the dark and it has a good reason to.
You see, if you defeat it, it will die and it knows it. It also has lots of arms and legs so if a part of it dies, then another is ready to spring up.
The secret here is to know, acknowledge and affirm when we have beaten it AND to feel good about it. YOU have just taken on YOU and…………… YOU WON.
If ever you needed a pat on the back, this is when you should do this. Enjoy the moment.
It is similar to two heavyweight boxers trying to outfox each other, both using their ring experience and trying to land that knock-out punch, both tired and weary but trying not to show it. Both taking the blows round after round until one remains standing, victorious.
SO HOW DOES HYPNOTHERAPY HELP?
I’m a huge boxing fan, especially the heavyweight fights. In-between the rounds, the boxer goes back to their corner. They are met by their ‘corner-men’ and there are normally 3 of them.
- One holds the icepack against the boxer and gives them a drink of water.
- One is the ‘cut-man’. He helps with the injuries and stops any bleeding. That is his area of expertise.
- The other is the trainer. He has been watching from a distance, seeing the bigger picture and has had a different viewpoint. He advises the boxer what techniques to employ. He tells the boxer what he needs to stop doing and what he needs to start doing. He may even say how the other boxer is weak, no match, unskilled, not fit to be in the same ring etc. The boxer listens and takes note. The boxer may feel inspired or at times not believe what they are being told. The bell then rings and the fight starts again.
With Hypnotherapy, the principle is similar.
I listen to the client and as I am not ‘emotionally involved’; I can see it from a different perspective.
Using my skills as a Counsellor and a Hypnotherapist, I also have experience of what the issues may be and more importantly, I can use different Hypnotherapeutic techniques to address them. Is the quick knockout the best way forward or should we go for the ‘wear the other boxer down’ by persistence instead?
I have found that the client always knows what to do, even when they ‘consciously’ doubt themselves, ‘unconsciously’ they know.
Sometimes, they just need support on this leg of the journey.
What I do know for absolute certainty is that within you is the strength of Mohammed Ali, Joe Frazier, Rocky Marciano and Mike Tyson (These are all heavyweight champions in case you are thinking I have lost my mind).
Your fear will try and make you think you do not even know how to box. It doesn’t want you to know how great you are.
My aim is to help you defeat your fear, show you how you have this inner strength and how you have the ability (and always have) to win.
This is why I love what I do and this is why clients go from strength to strength, transforming, growing and succeeding.
You are already a winner. You have taken a few big hits but that doesn’t mean you are knocked out. Far from it.
If your way is not working, perhaps you should try another way instead?
Maybe you just need a pointer in the right direction so you can truly take off.
I hope you have enjoyed this blog post. I am working on another project at the moment that will hopefully improve the help I can give and offer. I’m keeping it under wraps for the moment and it’s taken a little longer than I thought. Hopefully next month I’ll be able to share what it is.
In the interim, if you have any questions or requests, let me know. You can send me an email here and as always,
My very best wishes,
James
