Hello and welcome to my 2nd blog post. I will be uploading a new blog post each month on certain thoughts I may have, and how great changes can be made within ourselves if we have a slight shift in how we think. My aim is for you to hopefully get some inspiration from these and on your journey through life, truly realise all of your hopes and dreams. If you would like a certain topic covered, then drop me an email and I will get to it. I would also encourage you to go and do your own research on topics that I will refer to, don’t just take my word for it. Get your own thoughts and ideas as this will start a journey of knowledge within you.
So what is a Limiting Belief System?
A ‘Limiting Belief System’ is something we all have to varying degrees, and some are more prevalent than most. They are like weeds in the ‘garden of our mind’. They are the internal voices that will speak to you when you have an idea of doing or achieving something. The moment you think of the idea, they may tell you ‘You can’t do that’ or ‘That’s not for the likes of me’ or perhaps ‘Don’t be silly’. This actually translates to ‘You are not capable’, ‘This is beyond you’ or sometimes just ‘No’.
I’ve certainly heard my internal voice say that to me before and I’m sure you have heard your voice say something similar. Now when you have heard this ‘other voice’, a part of you may have agreed with it, so you didn’t do the thing you wanted to do and instead, let the idea slide away.
Have you ever wondered when you hear that internal voice, who is actually talking? Well, the answer is, it’s our Limiting Belief System and it’s not shy in making itself heard at regular intervals.
Make no mistake, we have all listened to this inner voice. At times the voice can be like a calm whisper yet you hear it loud and clear. It’s the ‘No’ or the ‘That’s just a pipe dream’ or at times, ‘Put that thought out of your mind’. They are very subtle but very powerful. At other times, it can be deafening.
Q. So how do we address this?
If you are aware you have a Limiting Belief system, yet don’t want to change it, I would suggest you do yourself a huge favour here. Just take a few seconds and consciously think, WHY? The emphasis is on the ‘consciously thinking’ here as opposed to just dismissing the question. What is causing you to think this? Is it the conscious part of you, or is it that inner voice again, masking itself so you don’t challenge it? Is it Fear? Be honest with yourself. If you think about this, you will know where it is coming from.
I am reminded of a scene I witnessed recently whilst I was in the queue of a supermarket. On an adjacent till were a Mum and her young son, called Johnny, who was aged about 6. Young Johnny wanted some chocolate that was on ‘child height display’, and his mother was saying no. Johnny continued asking, but began to get louder. His mum was getting flustered as Johnny was now attracting attention from the other shoppers.
I found myself watching the scene play out. Johnny’s mum was in ‘negotiation mode’. She calmly explained her reasons such as he was having his dinner when he got home, it would spoil his appetite, was being silly, was making a scene and to be a ‘nice boy’. Well, Johnny didn’t seem to appreciate his mothers point of view and clearly was not in the mood for any of her negotiation tactics.
He began to scream ‘I WANT CHOCOLATE’ over and over again. Little Johnny was getting himself in a right emotional mess and I felt genuinely sorry for his mother. She was sandwiched between customers, had no escape and her face was looking quite flushed.
As I watched, I was very aware of who was in charge at that particular moment, and it wasn’t Mum.
The reason I mention the above story is, our Limiting Belief System is a bit like a child who is not getting its own way. It gets Louder and LOUDER and LOUDER because it is being dismissed and ignored. It can be trained but just like little Johnny, it doesn’t want to negotiate so will fight back.
Let me ask you a question. Was there ever a time when you thought of an idea, the negative voice within you told you ‘you can’t do that’ and another part of you replied ‘YES I CAN’? Where did that ‘other voice’ suddenly come from? Did you stick to your guns and achieve the thing you wanted, or did the negative voice continue to hound you and you later decided to not go for it?
Well, if you overcame the negative voice and went on to prove it wrong, CONGRATULATIONS. If you didn’t, does it bother you? Do you regret your decision? Maybe, maybe not but whatever your answer was, can you see that you were up against one of your limiting belief systems?
Now, these can be incredibly strong and there is no way of finding out how many we have. They just seem to reside somewhere deep within us. You may have had them since you were a child or perhaps they arrived later when you were an adult. They may have deep roots within you. Believe me when I tell you that until they are dug up and flung away, they are likely to thrive and control you. In reality, they are really stopping you from achieving what you are more than capable of.
Isn’t it strange that we have these voices and conversations in our heads all day long? No, not really. These are the voices from our limiting belief systems and we get them from our past. Here I must be vague and generalise a little.
Have you ever heard the phrase ‘Children are like sponges’? Well, that’s a very good description. When we are born, we are completely devoid of any positive or negative influence. However, this soon changes. As we begin to grow and even before our vocabulary is present, we watch, we learn and we absorb. Our information intake is enormous.
On a side note, it has been suggested that the storage facility of our brains is so large, that if we had a DVD of unique information and began to watch it, it would take 300 years before our brains ran out of space!
This natural ability to store and retain information is one of our outstanding qualities. It is also one of our negatives because as children, we take it ‘all’ in, not just the good parts but also the bad. This information then sinks deep into our unconscious mind. We mimic behaviour from our experiences and this is how we learn to walk, talk, feed ourselves, play etc.
Can you recall starting at your first job? What did you automatically do? I’m guessing you watched, you learned and you absorbed. I am sure that there are things you do right now that you do not even give a second thought to anymore, just because you did it so often. It became a habit.
I am guessing that when a new procedure came into your life/workplace, it took you some time to get used to it. You might have preferred the ‘old way’ of doing it. This is because it was familiar. Perhaps you told yourself you just couldn’t get used to this ‘new way’ and it was beyond you? If so, then you gave yourself a Limiting Belief System.
You can see this all of the time in the world around us. How many of us have seen our parents having this mindset for example when it comes to the internet or perhaps a mobile phone? Have you ever heard someone say, “I’ll never do that”? They are absolutely right. They won’t with that mindset.
Repetition leads to habits and then onto belief systems. This is how we learn and this can also hold us back.
Now the clever thing about a limiting belief system is because it does not try to hide, we just seem to think ‘that’s the way it is’ and not question it. The parents amongst us who are reading this can inadvertently pass their limiting belief systems onto their children and they in turn (unless they learn how to address this) will pass it onto theirs. It is not just our parents we get this from. It can also be every other person who we interact with either real or imagined and the TV/Internet is also a major influence.
Q. How do I know if I have a limiting belief system?
A. Hopefully, you have realised it’s not a case of ‘Have I?’ but more a case of ‘I have!’
Is there something you’ve always wanted to do but not done it? Why not? What reason did you tell yourself to make this (in your mind) a valid point? Be honest, was it really a valid point or could you have done something to work around this issue?
Here are a few common examples and you may notice some repetition with the questions:
Are you in your dream home? If so, well done. How did you manage to get it? Did you once have to have an internal battle about this? If you’re not in your ideal home, why? Do you think the only way to get this is via a lotto win or an inheritance? What would you need to do, to get this home? What would need to change? What steps are you doing right now to achieve this?
Are you happy with your weight? If so, excellent. Did you face your demons or was it easy? If you are not happy with your weight, what are you doing to rectify this? Are you telling yourself that this cannot be done? Are you saying you are too old now?
Are you happy with your employment? Are you doing what you really want to do? If so, excellent. What made you get there? Was it just luck or was it hard work and determination? If you are not in a job you like, why are you still there? Is it just for the money? Are you trading your time for money? Do you think you can only earn a certain amount? If so, why do you think that? What could you do to change the odds?
The truth, I believe, is that we can all enjoy a better quality of life. It just needs us to apply ourselves and find the reasons how we can achieve this, instead of listening to our Limited Belief System about how we cant.
Now I’m aware that you will have had all kinds of reasons for making the decisions about not going for something you wanted. Of course you had a reason, and I did too. That was why we made that decision wasn’t it, due to our reason? But was one of those reasons FEAR? That’s an understandable one and probably the most common.
Recently, I had to make an important decision between choice ‘A’ and choice ‘B’. I’ll be completely honest, I felt that fear even though I knew choice ‘A’ was the right one, as it was the more difficult option. However, I recognised it immediately as an old Limiting Belief System that was trying to rear its head. I also knew I had the tools to address this. When I used them, the fear went and I was able to make the right decision, namely ‘A’. An older version of myself might have procrastinated and instead picked choice ‘B’. I would have regretted it or lied to myself that ‘B’ was really better knowing deep down, this was not true.
Hopefully, you can see that I really do believe that you do deserve the best things in life. You do deserve to earn the kind of money so life is more comfortable and you do deserve to be happy.
If you are not, it’s probably because your limiting belief system is telling you a negative message about what you deserve. It may also be telling you what you are capable of and not to ‘rock the boat’ with grand ideas. Maybe you are buying into that belief without question. See how sneaky they can be? Can you see how ingrained it is?
Q. So I have a limiting belief system. What can Hypnosis and Hypnotherapy do about this?
Hypnosis and Hypnotherapy can unlock the door to your potential whilst at the same time, actively targeting this limiting belief system and replacing it with absolute confidence. Using the weed analogy from before, we not only remove the weed from the roots, we put down a very powerful weed killer. We also sprinkle this weed killer over the entire garden. You cannot see the weed killer in action below the soil but you do see the rewards in whatever manner they show themselves. This way, even if another person comes at you with a limiting belief system, you’re already protected and it cannot take hold. These weeds have a sneaky way of coming back and trying to take root so it is important we become keen gardeners.
Depending on how deep the roots of your limited belief system go, it can be addressed very quickly in only 1-2 sessions or perhaps a short course of treatment would be best suited.
Imagine what you could actually achieve if you set your mind to it and could only see the ‘can do’ reasons. How would this change your life?
Problems that may have been there before, you just find a solution to address it. How fulfilling would that be?
What a powerful tool to use and the truth is, you already have the ability within you right now. It has just been waiting for the right moment to be awakened.
Isn’t it about time you became the creative person you were meant to be?
Here is a little exercise for you to try for just one week. Make a conscious (or even a physical) note of every time you have a limiting belief about yourself and your ability. You might be surprised at how many times it crops up.
If you would like help with your limiting belief systems to
- Get yourself on track and stay there
- Let your subconscious mind show you how powerful it really is
- Find energy and focus you never knew you had
- Realise your dreams and
- Be a better version of yourself than you ever thought was possible
Then you can either send me an email or make that phone call to 07511915580. We can get started at my clinic at Number 1 Harley Street. Just click the link here.
My next post will be on FEAR but until then,
To your success,
The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The 2nd best time is now.